The greatest man I know is intuitive, kind, patient, strong, funny and peaceful.
He isn’t the same man he was ten years ago and definitely isn’t the same man from twenty years ago. He was always a kind-hearted man, but there was a down-cast-busy vibe to him when I was younger. By the time I turned 13 years old, peace, joy and serenity ruminated within his smile. Nowadays, we use buzzwords about self-improvement, evolution, self-discovery etc. That’s him. Some belief systems he had when I was younger have now been modified or transformed for the better.
If this man wasn’t in my life, I don’t think I’d be the woman I am today. I am open to develop and grow for the better because I watched him grow. He cares deeply about his siblings, his daughter, nieces and nephews. He is the kind of parent who apologizes to his child. He took the time to explain things to me. With every fifty-eleventh question I had, he had an answer for- even if it was, “I don’t know.” We went on road trips every year during spring break. He picked me up from school every Friday and I anticipated spending every other weekend with him. If I was sick, he’d pick me up from school and take me to the doctor. If it was too cold, he’d pick me up from Mommy’s house and drive me to school (very rare, but still). He was 100% present. My father is the greatest man I know.
When I was a toddler, now and then my father would pick me up and walk me over to the mirror. He looked into the mirror and point asking, “Who is that pretty girl in the mirror, hm?” before I could answer he’d say, “My Princess, that’s who it is.” He’d unintentionally speak affirmations that I was creative and smart randomly. He still calls me Princess ‘til this day by the way.
My father is my walking diary, confidant and rock. Through the good times and the bad, he was always there. Every talent show, poetry show, graduation, fashion show, extravaganza and play, my father was there. I remember in 2016; I was a featured poet at a Gala and I invited my parents to join me. When I got up to perform my piece, my father had his camera phone ready to record- yes. But he looked so proud. He was beaming, ya’ll!
In 2015, I had a genuine conversation about my natural voice (which I still try to make a little higher unconsciously). I told my father about how I didn’t like it because peers and adults teased me about it or people would sexualize it. My father spoke to me for almost three hours on the phone about embracing my voice. He spoke about self-acceptance and how oftentimes; we are teased about the very thing that makes us stand out FOR THE BETTER. I am more confident and at ease with my natural voice because of my father.
When I opened to my father that I wanted to be a writer, voice-over artist and entrepreneur, he was so supportive. He was realistic with me and even gave me some books to read. He invested in me and my dream, which til’ this day, I’m in awe about. Other family members told me that I was wasting my time. That I needed to be realistic and leave the writing alone. While I talked myself out of pursuing my dreams, my father talked me back into them. There is literally no one else who is as supportive as my father.
The 30 years I’ve been on this earth, my father has been there for me, for every season. Including the horrendous seasons. When endometriosis was kicking my ass to the point I had to have surgery- he was there. When I was in an awful relationship, my father was frank and to the point to leave. When I finally did leave, he was there- with kindness and love in his words and actions. When people were all up in arms that I was engaged to a woman, my father was unbothered and more concerned about how I was being treated. I became estranged from certain family members, gossiped about, etc. I even had an uncle say to me:
It isn’t natural. It’s not okay. You hurt your mother. She sacrificed so much for you and to find this out, hurts her. If my daughter or son told me something like that, I would be devastated.
My father’s love and support keeps me. During 2020, I got laid off from a job that I adored. Yes, it set me back a bit. But with my father’s voice, support and ear- I know I’m going to be okay. With every setback, success, failure (He says, “Sometimes you have to burn to learn.”) and miracle, I know my father will be my rock.
I am thankful for my father. The greatest man I know.
I am celebrating the birthdays of 3 my poetry collections in September! "Long Live Phoenixes," "Orange September," and "My Quintessence." No matter how old or new, I hope my vulnerable works inspire readers and showcase my evolving poetry journey over the past 6, 1, and 10 years.